Sometimes I find comfort in my discomfort, it’s hard to stop old behaviors. The same goes for old romantic friends, it’s very hard to forget them or even to know when to decide that’s what I must do. I sit today not knowing what I’m going to do. It’s frustrating to be isolated.
I’m getting old, tired of being a failure in my own mind. I’m not sure what else I can do today other than write about my failures. I do intend to try to harness immense corrective actions to be stable again. Right now it’s just not happening.
This book I haven’t read, but it looks good. If you’ve read it or purchase it please comment on my post! Because I am getting very ‘sick and tired, of being sick and tired.’ redundant I know but that’s the way I feel in this present moment. It’s not all bad. But sometimes because I’m an addict i remove the good opportunities away from myself for no apparent reason. Other than I’m comfortable suffering, which isn’t quite normal by anyone’s standards.
Some of my past failures (like many others) are: lost jobs, lost friends, and relationships, familial breakdowns. You name it I’ve lost it! I wish I had a magical wand to just take away all of my suffering but that’s fairytale talk. In sharing today I hope I find some elevation from the struggles of addictions for me.
It’s good to know that “this to shall pass.” I count everyday sober as a huge blessing, and I prepare for the days to come.
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